The working world.

Sooooo, I spent my monday night getting WASTED with my coworkers. I'd usually be ashamed to admit that I can't remember what happened but it's not like I had any say in the matter.

For all those who don't know, drinking with your co-workers in Japan is probably more common than drinking with your friends, and turning down an invitation could be seen as rude. Now usually foreigners have a 'get out of jail free' card for almost any expectations Japanese have of Japanese people but because I don't want to be treated like a monkey by EVERYONE and only those too stubborn to see that I am a sentient being, I try to go along with anything that doesn't make my life extremely difficult. This included a 5000 yen ($50) diiner and all you can drink party with all my coworkers including the principal and vice principle. Now it was advertised as all you can eat fancy buffet but what it actually was was something like a drink-and-do-everything-else-as-fast-as-you-can-and-show-drunk-affection-to-your-underlings event. The buffet was enough to feed half of the 33 of us and it took them a good 20 minutes to refill things. I've experienced this kind of service in America (maybe once or twice) but I thought it was unheard of in Japan, which to me indicates how much the stress was on alcohol.

So I knew it was common to pour for each other and you aren't really supposed to pour for yourself and I knew it was common to get sloppy with coworkers, but I didn't know that if the person pouring reached you and you had a full glass that you're expected to drink a significant amount so that they can pour for you. And I didn't know that at any given time half the people in the room are running around to pour for their superiors and inferiors to establish healthy bonds at lightning speed, which means about a half a beer every minute or two at the peak of the night (which for most people starts once their 4 or 5 drinks in). There does exist an option to establish yourself as a light drinker, but you run the risk of isolating yourself so the only option, if you want to avoid the risk of puking on your boss is to drink as slowly as possible until the pouring starts and hope no one challenges you to a chugging competition.

I'm sure there is a great deal of variance between the types of jobs and personalities in question, but in any case, MY situation left me with the kind of dreadful hangover that I had managed to avoid most of the way through college. I imagine this group is a little more open because they seem to be pretty close with each other compared to the teachers at the other school I work at.

I wasn't shocked by this situation, the only real surprise was that I thought most of the alcohol entering my body would have been 90% at the hands of my own free will.

I'm not complaining and I'm not raving about it either. It was awesome to see the principal stumble around and tell me he wants to communicate with me better and then chug a beer in my honor. But it would be nice if there was a little more room to opt out of all the drinking without feeling like your putting your job at risk.

After 2 and a half hours, the most pathetic game of darts and bingo that I've ever seen, and somewhere between 9 and 19 drinks, whoever was left standing moved on to the bar (about half of us). I'd tell you about the bar but all I remember is a very drunk gym teacher telling me I need to be more American and that I'm too much like Japanese people. I don't really know exactly what he meant by that but I took it as an opportunity to tell him I'm not the kind of jackass that fits a stereotype as well as he does. He laughed.

After that, all I remember is an older woman teacher making sure I didn't get lost on my way home since she lives fairly close to me on the same train line. During that time I am sure I said something embaressing but I'm not sure what. I cannot remember for the life of me if it was in English or Japanese but it doesn't really matter.

I woke up the next morning (2PM) dizzy and sick and decided it was as good a time as any to go to karaoke.

The astounding adventures of no one.

Sometimes I put people in awkward situations.
I was talking to another American who works for the same company about language barrier problems at work….and, you know, my Japanese isn't jaw dropping like Thane Camus or that dude from Megadeath or anything so I was trying to be humble, because I don't have the right not to be. Anyway, a Japanese friend from the building comes down to the lounge and I make a comment to her and she asks if he's my friend. I say well yeah but he lives here too, and she immediately starts speaking Japanese to him. Now I would appreciate this but he didn't really understand her question at all. She switched to English and it was fine but me and the girl have never spoken in English and I think she would rather speak in Japanese, and most of all, she understands English about as well as he understands Japanese. Her friends were there too and they were all speaking Japanese. Since I've been kind of neglecting them for a while (not like they sit and wait for me to spend time with them but you know, if you stop talking to people they think you don't like them sometimes and I don't want to), and because they are decent people and basically my only consistently Japanese conversation practice, I spoke to them a little bit in Japanese. And because I was in the middle of a conversation with the American dude, I tried to include him in the conversation. Now what should I do? Translate? That feels rude! Its like a jab saying my Japanese is better than yours and I know its not a nice feeling because people do it to me all the time when I don't need it just because I didn't catch one word. Not translate and risk him feeling completely alienated and feeling like shit about his level of Japanese; something I've also experienced. So I did what any sensible person would do and had two conversations at once. In the end, I couldn't focus on either of them and kind of spaced out and went to my room. This didn't exactly plague me for the rest of the day and it’s probably not the most interesting thing I’ll write here but it just got me thinking;

Human interactions are so complicated.
Cool.

I can't escape christmas song

I came to Japan to get away from every single store playing the same 30 Christmas songs on repeat with who remade it being the only real variation. That was the only reason I came to Japan. How was I supposed to know a non-Christian nation would embrace Christmas the same way America does? In fact they embrace Christmas more here. In fact, they embrace Christmas so much in Japan that they've one up-ed the US....with fried chicken. Christmas in Japan is about being with your lover, sending Christmas cards, giving presents, Decorating with Christmas trees and the color pink (...pink?), buying things (just like every holiday in Japan) and OF COURSE fried chicken. There are lines out the door of every single KFC in Tokyo, and that's a lot of KFC's; KFC is huge here. What better way to celebrate love, Santa Claus and shopping than with some fried chicken? Now maybe I just grew up in a nice neighborhood but I don't know a damn person who eats fried chicken on Christmas; in fact, I don't even know where you get fried chicken outside of the hood and maybe Fridays or Chili's (I see fewer KFCs than I see pink things on Christmas in the states). The best thing about this is that when you tell people any of this, 7 out of 10 will stare at you like 'what the hell are you talking about?' and you can see on their face that they have to re-evaluate everything they've done in their life up until that point. You can imagine the look on their face when I tell them I have never celebrated Christmas in my life. They usually think I grew up in a foster home or something like that.So remember, just because your Japanese friend celebrates Christmas doesn't mean they know shit about Jesus. So what the hell are you doing reading any further? Convert the heathen before Satan gets to them!Seriously though, it's not as if America is the only country in the world who grossly misinterprets foreign cultures and I'm coming to appreciate that about America ,which I guess evens out the fact that I've grown to see America as a generally dirty country.Please remember not to take my stereotypes too seriously; there are tons of exceptions to everything here and Japanese people are as diverse in personality,　interests, lifestyle, and habits as anywhere else. I know a load of dirty ass Japanese people and a bunch who are not very surprised when they find out Japan has grossly misinterpreted foreign culture. But talking about those people is totally boring and you would not want to read it. If there weren't any stereotypes it would be an indication of a lack in cultural difference and that would be boring right? I think avoiding all stereotypes is not only unpractical but also extremely tight assed. But I doubt there’s a stereotype in the world that doesn't have loads of exceptions (there are often more exceptions and the stereotype represents the only recognizable trend despite it being less than 50%) and not realizing that is what causes problems. Generally Japan is full of people way more interested in understanding foreign culture but not unlike America, the media, advertising and other forces complicate their ability to do so in order to pursue their own goals. In all likeliness, the Christmas at KFC thing started from an advertising campaign when Japan was still 100% clueless about the west.In any case, I'm going to have to go to a Muslim country soon. I think that’s the only part of the world I can get away from the jingles.

Let's see if I can speak Japanese

This blog is a mess and I don't think anyone reads it yet. I'm torn whether or not to make it personal or informative. I want to share stuff with my friends and family and record the things I don't want to forget but I want to write informative stuff too for whoever is interested so maybe I'll have to make two blogs. For now 1 will work.

I saw Shiina Ringo. It was strange. It was huge...one big event I didn't know how to attend. The music was amazing but it was almost as impersonal as watching a live dvd. It all felt like a youtube video I was paying a lot of money to watch. 16,000 people! I'm used to meeting my favorite bands after a show in front of 200-500 people. I felt so small. An ego-blood rush went to my head and I felt I deserved better than to be a nameless spectator. Maybe. Maybe not. With her opening song and one of her most haunting, Hatsukoi Shojou, the last 3 years sunk in.

I don't desire fame, but I want to create something worthy of fame. I will. I know now that I am able to.

Seppuku - The good old days

Japan has the highest suicide rate of any country not formally part of the Soviet Union. 24 out of every 100,000 people kill themselves (.024% of the population). That's more than half the suicide rate in America and that's alot of people. It seems like a lot more people when so many of them do it by jumping in front of a train. Suicide is tragic and all, but....

For 3 days straight I've been late getting to work because of 'Human Accidents' on the Tobu Tojo Line. 3 days in a row! That is absurd. Now, I don't condone suicide by any means. I think it's cruel and unfair to put the people who care about you through that just because you are unreasonably impatient. You're going to die eventually anyway and as long as you're alive you can do SOMETHING (Anything!). But I also beleive people should have control over their own lives so if you are going to do it GET CREATIVE. Jumping in front of a train is pathetic. Everyone does it. It has no meaning and its not even tragic; its just messy and annoying to the thousands of soul-less salarymen waiting to get to work. If your life is so bad you don't want to live it, at least go out in a spectacular way. At least don't make your last action on earth so utterly boring. This is the country where Seppuku (Harakiri) used to be honorable! So why aren't more Japanese doing it?! I blame westernization.

What happened to the good old days when saying sorry was about slicing open your stomach and letting your guts spill all over the floor? When you had nothing left to do, you did just that! And you know, if you could arrange it, someone would cut off your head so it didn't take hours to die. With McDonaldization comes castration?

I turn you all now to my favorite suicide; that of Yukio Mishima. Let's look back and embrace it; because all good suicides should involve an attempt at government overthrow.

(Link will be poster later today. Cheers!)

Japanese Only Part 1 - Words your missing out on

Anyone who has never gotten too deep into a foreign language probably can't imagine how many concepts that you think can't be put into words actually can. The words we grow up with kind of keep us thinking about certain things. For example, there are more ways to express uncertainty in Japanese and so its much easier to be vauge. You can essentially speak for 10 minutes without saying anything concrete; sprinkling everything with "I wonder"'s and "maybe"'s and "probably"'s without sounding ridiculous. Remember how confusing it was in middle school when someone said they liked you? Do you like me or do you like me like me? Japanese has 2 words for love but both are extremely dramatic so to say 'I love you' most Japanese will say 'I like you'. These are small things. The entire grammatical structure of Japanese is based upon 2 or 3 levels of politeness, not to mention ways to conjugate verbs to say things we don't say in English. These differences are endless. After studying Japanese for a while, you start to forget which of these concepts are missing from your own language and sometimes you alienate the person you are talking to. I'm going to try to avoid doing that and also avoid silly explanations EVERYWHERE by just making a simple glossary. In case you are interested I will give a more in-depth explanation of some of the more iteresting topics here. (These concepts usually aren't unique to Japan but are either more common or just easier to express in Japanese)

OK. So. Japanese words you cant translate to English. Part 1

Izakaya- A Japanese style bar. There are many kinds but the main difference from western bars is that food is usually as important as drinks. There are often small dishes you can compare to tapas, ranging from french fries to monkfish liver (mmm) depending on the izakaya. There are many local ones that are full of men over 50 and many in the city are full of young people doing all-you-can-drink for an hour or two.

Enka-often called 'the blues of japan' but socially more similar to country music. Old people like it, kids don't and think its cheesy as hell. A combination of western jazz and big band music with traditional Japanese singing style. Ballads; usually sad. You hear it at least every other day in Japan.

Hikkikomori- a person who refuses to leave their room and/or see anyone. Usually they live with their parents who are too afraid of driving them to suicide to force them out of their room.

Ryokan- A traditional Japanese Inn]

Manga Kissa - Internet cafes/Japanese comic book (manga) library. If you want to have culture shock, this is your best chance. Imagine an internet cafe. Now imagine each computer has its own private booth where no one can see you. Imagine room service to the booths, overnight packages for about $12 and no limit to how long you can stay. Many runaway kids stay here. Really useful if you missed the last train and want to sleep a few hours before the first one comes.



Ofuro - A japanese bath. VERY DIFFERENT. You enter this AFTER a shower. NO SOAP. NO SHAMPOO. And usually they have devices that keep them warm.

Onsen- Hot Springs. I guess I could just say hot springs but I don't want to.

Expressions- (for all those interested. most of these words can be translated but they sound much more akward in english)

Shou ga nai/shikata ga nai - Litterally it means 'it can't be helped' but its used way more frequently.

Ganbatte - means 'do your best' but half of the time I like to translate it as 'deal with it'. You will hear this EVERYWHERE in Japan.

KY- Very common slang word that could be translated as oblivious but its alot broader than that. It stands for Kuuki wo Yomenai, or Can't read the air. I often use it to mean clueless about a certain topic, rather than clueless at an instant or clueless in general.

Gaijin - Means foreigner. Its not politically correct because it kind of just means outsider but everyone still uses it. Most foreigners in Japan either begin to detest the word or grow attached to it because it makes them unique.


Ill add to the list as they come up.

BEGIN

Well this is the 3rd blog I've started since I got back to Japan in August. I'll try to remember the password this time and I'll try to find the posts I posted already. This will be a combination of just what I'm doing every once in a while, essays about cultural aspects that aren't often talked about, opinions and whatever. I'll try to make an index of words that I use in Japanese (words that don't really have a good English translation)

The main purpose of this blog is to not forget English or important events and chronology.

Summary of the last few months

August - 15th- Came here with no paycheck coming my way until October 20th and enough to live for 1 month (08/15-10/20, do the math). Stayed in a Ryokan (traditional inn), a crappy hostel, my girlfriends aunts house and a hotel for a week. 2 days of orientation and being nervous. 1 week of studying and enjoying my favorite parts of Tokyo (Shimokitazawa, Yoyogi Kouen, Ikebukuro etc.)

September - 1st - Started work. Was told to make an introduction lesson about myself and hometown in 3 days. Given no information about the students level of English, the format of the worksheet, and what classes were like. When questioned, the teachers all said "Anything you make will be fine, I'm sure. You are a native English speaker"

I work for 2 schools. Monday and Friday I'm at School A

School A- I found out recently, is the LOWEST ranking school in Saitama. At first I thought the kids were just lazy but I'm starting to think a good portion of them are Autistic, Dyslexic, OCD, etc. and this is coming from someone who thinks some 60 or 70% of people with disorders are falsely diagnosed, but I really think a good half of the students could be fairly diagnosed with something other than ADD/ADHD. And I'm willing to bet less than 10% are. The teachers here are great. They all take their job pretty seriously despite complaining about wanting to go to a better school. They are friendly and treat me as an equal. Unlike a majority of Japanese people, most of them are willing to admit to themselves that a foreigner is capable of comprehending their language and so they don't usually force me to listen to they're terrible English. Actually some of their English isn't so terrible.

School B- This school ranks dead middle in Saitama. It is so mediocre I cannot even explain it. While in school A, I know 16 teachers names, I know about 5 teachers names at school B despite the fact that I'm there 3 days a week instead of 2. I spend most of my time in the English teacher faculty room where no one can judge me for going on the computer. I am over-protected by T Sensei who is an incredibly nice guy but a little bit KY sometimes (I'll explain KY some other time). He acts as my benevolent boss despite having no real authority over me and I can't complain because he is the only person that gives me any useful feedback on ANYTHING and he is the only person who takes my position and my contract into account. I usually have 1 teacher telling me a worksheet is too hard and 1 telling me its too easy. I've almost quit over this because no matter what the compromise, someone is unhappy with me. T sensei has become the final word on these kinds of issues and while I'm sure he's throwing his weight where it doesn't belong, I'm almost always thankful for it. The ALT position is often absurd and useless but I'll talk about this another time.

October - No money. At all. I cooked almost every night. Nothing that cost more than $5 a meal. Lots of Curry, eggs, and stir fry. Developed a strange and absolutely harmless health ailment I don't feel like discussing. I have no idea where it came from but I suspect the amount of preservatives in almost everything that doesn't come straight out of the ground (I saw a piece of bread last 4 months before it grew any mold).

Saw Ego-Wrapping, my favorite Japanese -band- (as in non-solo artist). Fun poppy jazz-rock music. Not exactly Ska but same kind of mood and instruments.


November- Holy shit, it's gone. Finally had money but not enough; had to catch up with all the things I hadn't bought. Realized that at Japanese schools almost every week has a day off or a day with no classes. Spending a lot of time studying. Started tutoring JAPANESE (NOT ENGLISH) because I devote a whole day to teaching a language I don't feel fully qualified to teach (though more qualified than most others teaching it). I've spent the last 3 years with Japanese grammar and vocabulary and I haven't touched English grammar in years. Just because I use it well enough doesn't mean I know how it works. And I'm a pretty good f-ing Japanese tutor, I think. Girlfriends birthday part 1 - dinner and drinks with her mom - was great. Lots of speaking Japanese and enjoying the coolest and strangest slightly-over-middle-aged woman in Japan. Part 2 - a cafe/restaurant/bar marathon at Shimokitazawa, my favorite part of Tokyo. Imagine a 10 block squared maze of aforementioned cafes, bars, restaurants, and specialty shops, complete with alleyways, dead ends and a cheese at the end. I still haven't found the end. Went to a bar that kind of looks like your in a magical cave. They were playing Tom Waits.



Onward

On Friday I'll see Shiina Ringo. As I've told many of this blogs potential readers, Shiina Ringo could have been everyones answer to the 40 or so years we've had since the Beatles. The only problem is that America has a hard time accepting music with lyrics they don't understand and sadly, without being big in America, there isn't much of a chance at becoming an international classic, let alone internationally known. Her album Karuki Zaamen Kuri no Hana is the greatest pop album I have ever heard and the song Souretsu may just be the greatest musical achievement in the past 100 years. It is really difficult to admit that this is my opinion and not fact.

I'll also take the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (Level 2) on December 12. This would basically give me an official document that (falsely?) asserts that I am bilingual.


Ok. Now someone better read this before I forget the password.